"Is That Lisp Absolutely Necessary?"

-Sophie Jenkins, House of Many Ways

This is a bit of a sequel to my characterization post.
One thing I've been experimenting with in my writing is to somehow keep the reader connected with the main character. To get inside their head. One way that I think one can do this is in the vocabulary they write with.
If your character is a super genius, don't use words like "very" or "big" unless the character is likely to, too, even outside of dialogue. If you're writing from the POV of a five-year-old, however, "big" and "Very" are perfectly appropriate (unless your five-year-old IS a super genius).
This is where my dilemma comes in: you've reach my first two posts of my story, so you should know Jason's personality--as far as vocab goes--is not the brightest bulb in the socket compared that five-year-old. He's the sort of guy who when asked to give a synonym for "big" says, "Large, and uh... huge, and... ...huge?"
And so here's me, the kind of person who uses "surreptitiously" in every day conversation, having to find other ways to describe things. One trick that I'm being forced to learn is connotation. Instead of using pure vocabulary to tell how horrible a car crash was(e.g.), I'll use my character's reaction to show the carnage and using brevity--allowing my readers' imaginations to run away with it--to make if all the more horrific.
Now, anyone who knows me knows brevity is not my strong suit. But this Blog is about improvement, right?

A Writing Tip

I've found that a lot of writers will go into great detail and say something like: "the tree, about ten meters tall, stood in the center of a lush green field, sheltering the old man with a beard of gray spindles that resembled straw." when they could say: "the haggard old man scratched his spindly beard as he arose from his resting place beside the tree. How strange, he thought when he saw the great commotion, that I should choose THIS day to rest in the field." I know, it's not very good, but it's just an example. What I'm trying to say, is that description should (almost) always be action. And a lot of things can be IMPLIED rather than said. If you wanted to imply that someone was a bad person, you wouldn't say: "He was a very bad man." you would say: "After the initial shock of seeing the man, the children ran sobbing to their mothers. The man cackled." OR "the blade gleamed in the dim light. 'you know,' he sang gently to his victim, 'I've always wanted to use this on...someone.'"

IMPLY!

One Last Soul

Sorry that I haven't done more than this, but my excuse is I never Comp. time at home and school blockers stop me from using this at school (which is unjustly lame.)

As the last pin drops in the conversation
I see the doubt in the skeptic's eyes
When all he loses is his philosophy
All else seems to fade and sigh

As he says your point was taken
Still lost is he, but the shadow's gone
We see him there, and his bony frame
Is all exposed beneath a judging sun

As the last sword drops in the conversation
And flaming arrows stop mid-flight
When goodness falls to entropy
The world sleeps under an endless night

As the gong rings and the clock strikes twelve
The Knights ready one last crusade
Drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die
These are the words as the light starts to fade

As the last sword drops in the confrontation
And destroying angels stop their plight
All at once, you see the way
And cross a new field everyday
We steal the sun's last golden ray
And bathe in the last of the milky white

As one last soul falls to an eternal doom
You find the time to understand
When evil lost his grip on you
You found instead a helping hand

As you look for your salvation
The wounded and the sick we'll tend
You heard a knock, and opened the door
And see God had one last soul- one last angel- to send.