Saturday, November 20, 2010

Short Story- The Red Telephone Booths

Well, I tried to write this short story completely during Spuds, but it didn't work... I got stuck ^^' I got some real help from my friend, (who told me that i'm really good at setting up long stories..... but of course that is a BAD thing for a short story) she helped, but its still... stuck for a plot point. all i know is its supposed to end up as a "And that's why I was late to school today" story. Well, comment, help, all that crap ^^



The story begins with five red telephone booths standing side-by-side. They were old, and had signs that read, “Out of Order.” They were empty, obviously because to someone who didn’t know better, they were out of order. But to someone who did know better, they were elevators to the underworld.
Unseen to mortal eyes, up out of each of the telephone booths, five different “people” rose up in succession of each other. One of the “people” took a step out of the telephone booth, still unnoticed by the humans walking past.
He chuckled quietly and said, “I still think it’s ridiculously funny that the humans can’t see us when we’re right here.”
“You know why.” Another man said as he stepped out beside him. The two looked almost identical. The first’s name was Eryx, and the second was Finn. They were vampire twins.
“Those silly mortals can’t see us because they’re so self-absorbed and too busy to notice five people magically appearing in five out of order telephone booths.” Said a third person, a female this time. This one’s name was Annette. She had a lovely voice that made it undeniable that she was a siren.
“Yes,” Eryx said with another chuckle.
“Well, we must be moving on.” Another male voice said. This one was Darien, a quite tall skinwalker. Standing next to him was Hayley, a petite hamadryad. These two were a couple.
“Yes, and so off we go!” Eryx said cheerfully. He led the group down the streets of the city towards a certain house in a certain suburb where a certain person lay sleeping.
The group walked silently down the streets, like shades in the morning light; Eryx at the lead, and Finn by his side. Annette walked gracefully, gazing around at her surroundings. Darien and Hayley took the rear, holding hands. It did not take them long to get to the subdivision where their subject lived. They walked past the rows of streets, looking for one particular name.
Eryx stopped and pointed up to the green street sign, which read, “Shady Raven Court.” He and the group turned and moved down the lane, growing closer and closer to where they were going. Eryx seemed to be counting as he past each of the houses, looking for the certain one. Finally, Eryx and the others came to a halt and stared at the house across the street. They had arrived.
Inside the normal house on the normal street, a seemingly normal boy lay in his normal, age-appropriate room. He lay spread-eagle on his stomach, one foot hanging off the bed, uncovered. He had no idea what was in store for him that day.
Suddenly, the boy was rudely awakened by seemingly appearing on the floor with his mattress on top of him. He shot up, pushing the mattress up off of him. His head spun around to see what had caused this disturbance in his sleep patterns. The five strangers standing around him met his eyes. His jaw dropped and no sound came out to express his reaction to five, quite attractive, strangers in his room.
“That was quite effective, Finn, thank you.” Eryx said. Finn nodded with a quick, mischievous smile that disappeared instantly. “Well then, Liam, old boy, you’ll need to come with us.”
The boy’s eyes bugged out of their sockets, “How do you know my name?” He asked.
“We take care to know everybody’s name when we come to take them away.” Eryx said.
Take me away?!” Liam shouted.
Darien and Finn hushed the boy and Eryx said, “Please, do be quiet, we wouldn’t want your parents to wake up, now would we?”
Liam was silent and stared at Eryx. He gulped and said, in a trembling voice, “Where are you taking me?”
“No time now, we’ll tell you on the way!” Eryx said. “Right now, you will need to get dressed.” Liam looked down and his eyes grew wide when he realized he was wearing nothing but a pair of pajama pants. He pulled up his blanket with a flushed face as Annette giggled.
Liam soon took up the courage to say, “Well I’m not going to change when you’re all standing there!”
They all took the hint. Darien was the first out, and he helped Hayley and Annette step out of the window. Eryx and Finn followed.
Liam sat for a moment, trying to decide whether he was asleep or not. He pinched himself to check and found that, unfortunately, he was awake. He rose and quickly threw on some clothes. He grabbed his backpack and stepped out the window.
“Good man.” Eryx said, and he turned and began back the way they had come.
“NOW are you going to tell me where we’re going?” Liam asked.
“Not necessarily.” Annette said in a teasing voice.
“What?! Why?” Liam exclaimed.
“Because surprises are always fun!” Annette said with a smile. She skipped ahead of Liam, right behind Eryx and Finn.

3 comments:

  1. Vampires. Admittedly, a little cliche. But it looks like this is done quite well. I think you need either a bit more emphasis on "This is all in a day's work" kind of phrases, OR "We're all crazy, we do crazy things, we know it, and Hey Kid! We're dragging YOU along whether you're crazy or not." That seems to be what you were going for - a really lackadaisical and somehwat ironic transition from the boy to the vamps.

    As for where the plot should go... I would have to look in your mind and filter out all the ideas you've got floating around, but that's YOUR job.

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  2. It wasn't the Vampires that bothered me so much as the "Quick, small child! You're destiny lies with us."

    I think it's all great, I would just beware of making it sound unoriginal.

    I actually like vampires a lot when they aren't sparkly.
    Can yours actually turn into bats? If they do, I'll like it a lot more.

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  3. Vampires: yes, they are the sun-fearing (well, mostly), pointy-teethed, bat-morphing creatures of the night, not sparkly fairies -.-
    Yeah CHB, it is that kind of feel cuz that's basically what I'm putting into it ^^'
    Micha- yeah, i'll be careful, although, as CHB said when i was talking to him, a cliche used well is a wonderful thing.

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